There is no field guide for the decisions we have to make in life when we come across forks in the road that we weren’t expecting. The maps we follow might show the outline of a path, but the conditions on the ground are entirely a product of time, season, and maybe fate. When we hit log jams or intersections, we must choose: up and over? left or right? forwards or backwards? As civilized beings of the so-called Modern World,Read More
“Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man.” –Henry B. Adams Not long after the quieting gauze which the lacunae had thrown over my life had settled, like a scarf placed over a canary’s cage to soothe it’s song into slumber and filling my hours with a strange, paradoxically comforting and agitating hush, the ship righted itself and the terrible beautiful chaos of life came rushing back.
I’m in the lacunae now. The little gap, the bit where the text is missing, where the song stops for an extended period, and everything is hushed, waiting waiting waiting for the return of movement, waiting to see how it plays next. I tell myself that I can enjoy the anticipation, with every kinetic molecule suspended in its cellular matrix, ready to crash into motion with heat and noise. But, oh, I hate it.